tell em
the story how you were born
in 96
cold winter, white snow over the heels
4.7 kilos
of child meat
a statement
from the gods to my family
or to my mom
her second child born under the cross of christ
has also crossed a line
not once
not twice
pretty much everytime

but no
fuck it.

tell em
how you were six
when the first girl you liked
rejected you under peer pressure
and hit you with her umbrella

and since then pretended she didn't like
hit you with the umbrella

but nobody is interested in facts
everyone wants to feel
mostly drama
but mostly feel
people are so disconnected from themselves
they tune with ease into other souls
and dreams
and me
this is the autobiography of me
and you can’t give more fucks about the facts
but
You want to hear what breaks me,
you want to feel what I feel,
so that you can feel something;

the times I felt like shit,
confused,
with broken heart,
in love or
mad;

​

the times

when all these things people kept saying
were messing with my head
I am 27,
and for most of my life
I made music of Me being abandoned
I made friends -
to make myself feel safe
I made love, 
and let my exes grow me into a man -
A real man
not the guy I met,
that’s called by his own mom a fag;
and a privileged calls out a privileged,
ok,
like that’s real,
still, his relationship with his mom is so terrible,
for who knows fuck what reasons
but he brags his talents about to compensate for the love he’s missing,

tell em
about the girl you met, that grew up on the streets,
abandoned by her mom since a child,
who shared the roof with circus peeps,
only to grow up a gorgeous and talented woman.
 

tell em
how you were born in 96
cold winter, white snow over the heels
no hesitation
still loved
but dreams
of becoming someone and to provide for kids
left you alone
with questions
like
where do you belong? or

-hey daddy
is mommy coming home?
 

tell em
the price we pay for a better life,
when better was to feel you are being loved;
and don't get me wrong
my parents loved me
like
really loved me;
it just makes it harder
to understand the reason
why you felt abandoned
or alone.

but maybe
you shouldn’t understand a thing,
maybe it's enough to feel,
and maybe there is enough of me to live my life without any other needs
but tell em
that the struggle is real,
and it affects all of us;
it’s not like that guy will not offer his child love,
or that gorgeous woman will not be a better mom than
her mom.
possibly, what her mom did to her was the best thing she could’ve done,
there is just a different angle -
for you to come and find
love.

tell'em 

that life is not holding feelings
you've never signed up for
tell'em that life is not sex with
random women
nor betrayed friends
or competition for becoming better
tell'em that life is about having fun
and being in love
and there is no better 
than bettering yourself.